英検１級エッセイ・２次対策専用スレッド

1 ：名無しさん＠英語勉強中：2015/03/27(金) 00:42:07.24 ID:Aj50GlQq.net

英検１級を目指す人が主に英語で意見してエッセイやスピーチの練習をするスレッドです。
TOPICSの提案は自由ですが時事的な問題など関心が高く良いと思います。
辞書、文法書の使用も良いと思います。
自信のない人は日本語や英日混在の文で書いても良いと思います。
反論、再反論も可。
文法ミスやBetter な表現など指摘しあいましょう。
その他常識の範囲で、また内容の真偽に関しては自己責任でお願いします。

39 ：名無しさん＠英語勉強中 ：2017/06/11(日) 15:24:38.44 ID:WoGz15EU0.net

↑あ、3つ理由がなくちゃダメなのね。

40 ：名無しさん＠英語勉強中 ：2017/06/11(日) 20:57:54.81 ID:QXVk40m6d.net

>>38
I think helping developing countries overcome poverty is one of the important missions of the developed world.
I have two reasons to support my idea.

First, a tremendous amount of money needs to be poured into solving the problem of poverty in the world.
→ pour into 名詞 が適切では？

be poured into funds to solve the problem of poverty in the world.

It is rich countries’ responsibility to help the poor through various means; OECD, grant aid, NGO support and so on.
→ ;
付加的な情報を加えるときは : が適切なのでは？

From humanitarian point of view, countries with money must do so to save people who are dying from starvation, malnutrition and diseases that can be prevented by monetary aid and medical support.

→ countries with money はpeople with money と違いググってもヒットしない表現。rich countries もしくは、 wealthy countries はいかが？
→ monetary aid and medical support はなんとなく or の方がいいかなぁとなんとなく思ったり

Second, helping developing countries overcome poverty eventually leads to eradicating terrorism.
Poverty is often cited as the cause of violence.
Those living in a wealthy country should put themselves in shoes of those living in poverty to understand how desperate they are.
Can we blame those who resort to violence in desperation who are given a choice between death from starvation and violence?
With our help, whether it is monetary or technically, they will be given hope.

41 ：名無しさん＠英語勉強中 ：2017/06/11(日) 20:59:14.71 ID:QXVk40m6d.net

>>40 の続き
Hope is what people need to live in peace. Contributing to ease the world poverty will in turn lead to reducing the number of terrorist attacks.
→ lead to reducing は lead to us reducing もしくは、 lead to reduce の方がいいような。

For these reasons, I believe developed countries must help poor countries rise from poverty. We should start today to do our share of saving people in need.

感想→230words前後かな、3つ目の理由を述べるために、2つ目の理由を削る必要があるかと思う。単語のミスもないし、理由も明確で表現もいいと思った。

指摘に間違いがあればよろしく

42 ：名無しさん＠英語勉強中 ：2017/06/11(日) 21:35:57.31 ID:WoGz15EU0.net

>>40 >>41 英文チェックありがとうございます。
＞→ pour into 名詞 が適切では？
poured into ...ingはOKのようです。
Billions of entrepreneurial dollars are being poured into solving humanity's death problem.
（2015/03/13 - Newsweek）などなど

＞付加的な情報を加えるときは : が適切なのでは？
はい、コロンのが適切ですね！Thanks.

＞countries with money は聞いたことがあったので使いました。下のような例文からして
「変」ということはないと思いますが、
したの１つめのように
countries with money and power としたらかっこいいと思いました。
ほかにも
countries with money to burn　なども見つかったので、使ってみたいです。

＞... we feel strongly that the way for life to ultimately change for poor Nicaraguans
is through in countries with money and power.

. Those individuals, organizations, and countries with money will be able to
use/abuse the law to their ...

＞monetary aid and medical support はなんとなく or の方が…
確かにand で二つをならべるというのも不自然ですね。

＞ｌead to reducing は lead to us reducing もしくは、 lead to reduce の方がいいような。
これはlead to reducing...でいいかと思います。たくさん例文がでてきます。

Our findings suggest that yoga exercise may lead to reducing the symptoms
of lower back pain （イギリスのヨガのサイト）

３つ目の理由を考えてちょっと直してきます！

43 ：名無しさん＠英語勉強中 ：2017/06/11(日) 22:07:04.11 ID:QXVk40m6d.net

>>42
なるほど、動名詞か文法駄目だな 笑

あと、prevented by monetary aid and medical supportの部分なんだけど
by と with の違いを検討してみたんだけど
どうかな？

44 ：名無しさん＠英語勉強中 ：2017/06/11(日) 22:12:25.49 ID:QXVk40m6d.net

あっなんでもない。
やっぱこのレベルの英文になると自爆するわ 笑

45 ：名無しさん＠英語勉強中 ：2017/06/11(日) 22:14:49.02 ID:WoGz15EU0.net

ご指摘ありがとうございました。理由３つにしました。
I think helping developing countries overcome poverty is one of the important missions of the developed world. I have three reasons to support my idea.

First, a tremendous amount of money and energy need to be poured into solving the problem of poverty in the world. It is rich countries’ responsibility
to help the poor through various means: OECD, grant aid, NGO support and so on. From humanitarian point of view, countries with money and power must
do so to save people who are dying from starvation, malnutrition and diseases that can be prevented by monetary or medical aid.

Second, helping developing countries overcome poverty may eventually lead to eradicating terrorism. Poverty is often cited as the cause of violence.
Those living in a wealthy country should understand how desperate those people are. With our help, whether it is monetary or technically, they will be given hope.
Hope is what people need to live in peace. Contributing to ease the world poverty will in turn lead to reducing the number of terrorist attacks.

Third, developed countries can donate money or send volunteer teachers to help children in developing countries receive formal education.
Educated children will grow into capable leaders who could someday get the nation out of poverty.

For these reasons, I believe developed countries must help poor countries rise from poverty.
We should start today to do our share of saving people in need.

(235 words)

46 ：名無しさん＠英語勉強中 ：2017/06/11(日) 22:30:51.73 ID:WoGz15EU0.net

真ん中あたり、

"whether it is monetary or technically, "

金銭援助でも技術援助でも　のつもりでしたが、形容詞と副詞で変なので、

"whether it is monetary aid or technical assistance"

と変えました。

47 ：名無しさん＠英語勉強中 ：2017/06/13(火) 23:32:45.45 ID:D+fbizG9M.net

こういうの見て英検で必要な速読を身に着けてるよ
TOEIC用だけど役立ってる
https://youtu.be/1KFemGNebnQ

48 ：名無しさん＠英語勉強中 ：2017/06/16(金) 19:43:19.46 ID:gYoZIXV3F.net

作文書く前のベースとして、基本動詞＋前置詞の勉強している。あとジャパンタイムズの英作文対策も購入した。さて、作文ブラシュアップするぞー

49 ：名無しさん＠英語勉強中 ：2017/06/18(日) 11:54:37.70 ID:zoS5jjAZF.net

参考書掘り出して纏めてみた。

エッセイの基本
Introduction
body 1
body 2
body 3
conclusion

語数制限-トータル200〜240words
Introductionとconclusionに50〜60words。bodyで各50〜60wordsを目安にするといい。

introductionにてトピックに対する自分のスタンスを入れるのがオーソドックス。
I think/believe 〜 should 〜.
I agree/disagree 〜.
また、その後に
I have three reasons to suppurt this idea.
などの表現も付け加えることも可能。

bodyの冒頭で使える表現
First〔First of all/The main reason 〜〕,Second, Third,
または、Second, Third, の代わりにFurthemore,
Moreover, Additionally, In addition, Yet another, Aside from 〜,
Next, Let's consider 〜, Another field〔erea/concern/problem〕〜, Finally, We also〜
などが使える。
※Firstly, Secondly, Thirdlyは敬遠するネイティヴがいる模様。しかし、Cambridge Dictionaryにおいてはより形式的な表現で使えるとある他、新聞等でもしばしば用いられている。

conclusionの冒頭で使える表現
In （my）conclusion,In summary, For the reasons listed 〔mentioned above〕, Considering 〔When considering/Based on/In light of〕the points mentioned above〔these issues〕,
Overall,Upon taking the above points into cosideration, The example mentioned above,

50 ：名無しさん＠英語勉強中 ：2017/06/18(日) 12:37:05.62 ID:zoS5jjAZF.net

punctuation
: コロン
1. 情報を列挙する時
-例
Topics discussed will include:  the structure of viruses, virus families and current concerns in virology.
2. 情報を説明、結論、付加する時
-例
Tai chi is more than a form of physical exercise: it is meditation in movement.
After extensive research, the committee came to its conclusion: development could not take place without further funding.

-ダッシュ
コロンと同じ

; セミコロン
1. 語句のリストを区切る
-例
The speakers were: Dr Sally Meadows, Biology; Dr Fred Eliot, Animal Welfare; Ms Gerri Taylor, Sociology; and Prof. Julie Briggs, Chemistry.
2. 2つの文を関連づける
-例
I read the book in one evening; it was not very helpful.
Personal writing utilises the first person form; impersonal writing utilises the third person form.
He was nervous about giving the speech; he asked for water several times.
The deadline has come forward a week; everyone's help will be needed.

3. 「別な方法では、しかし、従って」を使用する時
-例
I did not finish reading the text; instead, I watched the news.
(Notice that the connecting word instead is followed by a comma.)
The research is far from conclusive; nevertheless, it has some value in this case.
Dr Suptri argues that the research shows an increase in such occurrences; however, many experts would dispute this.

51 ：名無しさん＠英語勉強中 ：2017/06/18(日) 12:59:05.79 ID:zoS5jjAZF.net

あと、ここまで知ってたらマニアックだと思うけど一応

その他
「en ダッシュ」の使用例:
・期間を表現する場合（例：3−5 days, Monday−Thursday）
・複合語を作成し、分かれた一方の語が二単語の場合（例：a Nobel Prize−winning physicist）
・複合語を作成し、分かれた一方の語にすでにハイフンがある場合（例：an anti-American−leaning organization）
・方向、敵対、反対関係を意味する場合（例：the Austin−Dallas drive takes about three hours）
・二つの固有名詞の重要性が同等の場合の区切りとして使用される場合（例：the Mason−Dixon Line）

「em ダッシュ」の使用例:
・文の途中で挿入句を入れる場合（例：almost all the students―as many as 95%―failed the test)
・引用文の作者を入れる場合（例："Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinit

52 ：名無しさん＠英語勉強中 (ﾆｸｸｴ Sd62-jmfR)：2017/06/29(木) 22:28:31.43 ID:7vWw2kCydNIKU.net

【TOPIC：Do the world's wilderness areas need to be better protected?】

Wilderness cleans our air and filter our water, without which Earth cannot sustain human beings. This clearly indicates that we must protect world's wilderness areas.
I have three reasons to support this idea.



First, Ecological Footprint has shown that our modern lifestyle exceeds the capacity of Earth by 30%; Japanese standard of living, In particular, by 130%. This is due to carbon emissions.
Thus, our planet needs more biocapacity to equalize this. Something has to be done.



Second, let's consider animals, experts claim that there are now roughly 17,000 species facing extinction around the world.
Some are directly caused by humans, for instance: black rhinos, for its precious hone; blue whale, for its valuable flesh.
Is this acceptable?



Lastly, ocean is another wilderness besides the ones on land.
One of the controversial matters among marine scientists is global marine pollution.
Did you know that approximately 1.4 billion pounds of trash per year enters the ocean? 


In summary, we are continuously becoming the burden of wilderness.
We need to take steps to solve these problems.

【152 words】

53 ：名無しさん＠英語勉強中 (ｴﾑｿﾞﾈW FFff-AyKb)：2017/07/22(土) 11:18:25.60 ID:v5ThiiP8F.net

TOPIC：Should minors who commit serious crimes receive the same punishments as adults?

I believe that minors are too young to receive the same punishments as adults.
I have three reasons to support this idea.

The primary reason why minors shouldn't be punished is because the environment they grew up in deeply affects their way of thinking.
Hence, it is more likely that they may commit crimes if they were raised in a dysfunctional family. In most cases, they have witnessed domestic violence even in their neighborhood on a weekly basis.
Young minds can be easily shaped, thus if given proper guidance, they can make wise decisions in the future.

In addition, several studies show that the decision making part of the brain continues to develop until individual's mid-20's.
This means that juveniles delinquency account for immature brain function, providing the evidence that there should be extenuating circumstances in minors' crimes.
Adults should play a role model on how to behave in order to prevent them from poor decision making.

Last, unless we provide minor convicts proper education and ethical guidance giving a basis to develop a strong moral compass, the likelihood of their crime relapse will remain in high.
In fact, two third of former convicts are arrested again within three years after being released from imprisonment.

In light of points mentioned above, minors are too young to receive the same punishments as adults and most importantly it's them who will be taking the lead in supporting our societies after all.